Movie Review! Inception: Overrated is an understatement

Yes, you read it right. Overrated is in fact an understatement for this jumbled mass of blurring images and meaningless scenes.

The introduction - if you could call it an introduction - was confusing to begin with. So our man Leo's on a beach, choking on the salt water when he is approached by an Asian guard packing heat who prods him as you would the dead body in the drainpipe near your house. That's alright, I can deal with that, it'll probably soon be explained how he got there and where he came from. GUESS AGAIN, SHERLOCK!

You have to wait 2 hrs before you find out he magically landed there via a dream, then you wonder if he was ever there at all? He proceeds to talk to this old man that nobody seems to know about something that everyone is presumed to understand. This is followed by an insane chase scene wearing tuxedos with loud ear-bursting rumbles and gunfire before he and another guy wake up in a seedy room somewhere (is it Spain? I already zoned out) where an army of people are charging for their hideout for NO APPARENT REASON OTHER THAN TO ATTACK THEM!!

The movie then meanders through another 40 mins of nonsense while this ridiculous scheme is hatched using the girl from Juno who just doesn't pull off the part. She is a starry eyed tween who catches on to this dream weaving thing quicker than DiCaprio catches on to the concept of diversity in his roles. Finally we get to this scene where it's obvious the effects are the main drawcard as there is no real direction at all for 10 mins.

Finally, the last thing I'd even credit in this movie is the ending. It was to me like many of my essays, where I've spent days churning out complete and utter rubbish which is credit standard at best and in no apparent structure before capping it off with this really inspiring conclusion that I hope will enchant the marker enough to make them forget the rest of the essay and just take the conclusion home with them. Well I'll tell you what, Director Christopher Nolan, it didn't work for the markers and it didn't work for me, you hack! I remembered the rest of the movie (at least the part I was awake for). God knows I was given no chance of remembering whatever shade of a plot there was, but I remembered how terrible the movie was, and your 'mindblowing' final scene did nothing to erase the scarring suffered from those 2 hrs of my life I will never get back.