I know what you're thinking. "I didn't know there was a difference?" Well yes, there is. I am here to show you the multi-faceted hierarchy of laughing in an instant message. For the sake of this post, I will refer to Facebook as the example.
When engaged in an instant message conversation, there are several tiers of laughter - from tears of laughter, to a very short and sharp scoff. They make up 'The Billy Crystal Scale':
Level 1: "Ha."
This is the most cutting of all laughs as the teller of the joke immediately knows it was either not funny, or it was offensive. A "Ha." can never be positive. More often than not, the single syllabic scoff is a sign of tiredness, apathy or of being unimpressed. However, it does display a certain courtesy and willingness not to insult the joke teller.
Level 2: "lol" or "lolz"
The level two laugh is in no way negative. It is a huge step up from "Ha." as it implies the user or recipient of the joke "laughed out loud" as it were. What makes this such a lowly form of laughter is its overuse by almost every patron of instant messaging. "lol" either precedes or follows almost every sentence with any hint of humour and will often be used as a softener or an invite to the recipient that the user is joking and it is ok to laugh. Has been known to be used in awkward situations as well. Those who use it in real life conversation are often ostracised and/or publicly mocked.
Level 3: "Haha"
This one is used less frequently than "lol" and therefore carries more weight. Rarely is a "haha" ever a lie. Mostly, when one says "haha" in an instant messaging conversation, they really have laughed or at least had a chuckle. Can be a mood breaker like "lol" and has been known to be alternatively spelt "baha", which implies more raucus laughter but not necessarily more authentic. Choice of spelling is at the discretion of the laugher.
Level 4: "rofl", "lmao", "roflmao", "lmfao", "roflmfao"etc.
Cheap acronyms that vary in use and meaning. All have a generic underlying tone and that is of severe exaggeration. One has never been known to drop to the ground and laugh one's backside off. It just doesn't happen. Still carries more authority than "haha" simply because of the effort of finding the keys and the risk of sounding like a moron. Again, choice of phrase is at user's discretion.
Level 5: "LOL" or "HAHA"
Carry the same significance ideally. One is said to have genuinely laughed in this instance, although no proof has ever been put forward. The capitalisation of the letters suggests more enjoyment of a joke than when in lower case. Also, there may be an element of congratulations on the wit and inteligence of a particular observation or joke when a Level 5 is utilised.
Level 6: "Hahaha"
The first concrete evidence of genuine real-time laughter. The 'Trifecta', as it is affectionately known, is used in situations where the joke has at least enticed an audible chuckle. This is evidenced by the addition of an extra "ha". The only instance where one might encounter the 'trifecta' without the user actually laughing is when dealing with a sociopath. "Bahaha" also fits the Level 6 category.
Level 7: "Hahahaha"
The big one. That is one funny joke you got there, bud. The 'Quaddie' is only ripped out when absolutely necessary to avoid phrases like "gee, it wasn't that funny" and "you OK?"
When someone adds four "ha"s after a joke, you know it was hilarious, ingenious, or both.
Level 8: "Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha"
We call this one 'Le Schizophrène'. This means one of two things. Either you should be hosting the Oscars, or Goulburn SuperMax gave Ivan Milat a computer. Be very wary when confronted with 'Le Schizophrène'. Try not to be lured into the trap of thinking you're the Mel Brooks of Instant Messaging, because before you know it, you'll be back at "Ha." so fast that your internet connection won't handle it, and neither will you.
So take a clue, Chuckles, quit while you're ahead. One you get the 'Quaddie', ease off a bit, hit them with a few Level 5 wisecracks and then work your way back up again. Too many comics have learnt the hard way that once you hit the dizzying heights of the Crystal Scale, you can only go down.
Happy Joking!
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